Well-being guide

• It is hard to respond effectively when you are feeling stressed. Before doing anything, take some deep breaths, relax your body, and calm your mind.
• Remember that the responsibility for anyone else’s safety is not on you alone; others are available to help. You do not have to engage in these conversations if you do not feel ready to do so.
• Think through what help you can provide safely and what resources exist. Consider reaching out to a helpline or trusted adult to talk through your concerns and help plan your response.
• Some people find it helpful to collect and pen down their thoughts first.

Responding to someone who is struggling can help them feel less alone and more supported. Here are five options for responding:

1. If you believe that someone’s life is in immediate danger, consider calling emergency services, a local crisis line, or professional medical help. It is best to do this with cooperation of the individual in crisis and to stay with them while they reach out directly for help.
2. If someone’s life is not in immediate danger, consider reaching out to a trusted adult, local crisis line, or professional for help.
3. If you see content that violates TikTok’s Community Guidelines, you can report it in-app by following these steps. Any info will be kept confidential and anonymous. In addition, the individual will be given local crisis resources.
4. If you don’t feel comfortable responding privately, try publicly commenting to share free local crisis resources.
5. If you feel comfortable talking to the person directly, continue to CREATE a connection – preferably via a private message, following these guidelines.

Balance listening with asking open-ended questions. Acknowledge the person’s emotions and struggles, but avoid saying that suicide or self-harm is a helpful or normal way to cope. Try to keep the focus on the other person. While you may want to share your own struggles, this can lead to the other party to feel invalidated. Avoid jumping into problem-solving as this can be frustrating to the individual in crisis, since we are outsiders to their situation. Examples of empathetic responses:

• “It’s hard to feel so stuck. Sometimes it can be tough to see how to move forward”.
• “It sounds like you’re desperate for something to change. What do you wish were different?”
• “Break ups can make you feel so alone and disconnected from people you care about! How have you been coping with it?”

Research shows that asking about suicide does not put the thought into someone’s head or increase the risk. Instead, it can start a conversation that may help save their life:

• If you are concerned, ask directly if they’re currently having thoughts about suicide or harming themselves., E.g. “Have you been thinking about killing yourself?” Even if you think someone is not serious, ask!
• If they are having thoughts of suicide or self-harm, ask if they have (i) access to methods to do so; (ii) a specific time; and (iii) a place in mind.
• If they deny having thoughts of suicide, be careful not to respond judgementally. Try not to say things like ‘phew’ or ‘thank goodness’. It’s best to say something like ‘thanks for being honest’. This allows the person to know that if they were having those thoughts, you would be a safe person to talk with.

• Reducing access to methods of suicide and self-injury is one of the most effective ways to prevent self-harm. When able to do so safely, decrease access to anything that the person could use to harm themselves.
• Identify a trusted contact whom the community member can reach out to if thoughts continue or worsen. If the community member is young, help identify a trusted adult, local crisis line, or professional; work together to brainstorm what they can say, and accompany them while they reach out directly to start the conversation. If they have a favorite teacher, this can also be a great person to reach out to.
• Many people find it helpful to keep a custom list of 4-5 activities to automatically do when they’re struggling. If you’re supporting someone, try out activities together to see what helps! A list of activities could look like:

1. Drink a glass of ice-cold water and focus on the sensations
2. Take a long, warm shower
3. Re-read your favorite book or listen to an upbeat song
4. Text your friends to get support and/or ask about their day
5. Reach out to a local crisis hotline to talk about your feelings

Empower the community member to keep themself safe and to reach out for help:

• Help decrease barriers to support by offering to research hotline numbers, therapists, or to keep them company as they talk to an adult.
• Make sure they have the resources and tools to handle the ups and downs. For example, encourage them to keep a list of reasons for living, healthy activities that make them feel good, and contacts who can help them through rough patches. Recovery from suicide and self-harm isn’t always linear, it can be just making it through a day at a time.