How ‘The Most of Nora Ephron’ Explains America
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The modern women’s movement was so transformative that it’s easy to forget the old days in the 1960s and ’70s, when the other side was good at portraying us as man-hating harpies and it was a challenge to make women feel comfortable being in the fight.
Then we discovered that in this country, a spoonful of humor could help make the message palatable. Enter writers like Nora Ephron, a fighter for the cause who was a genius at using wit to handle any woe.
“The Most of Nora Ephron” is a tome that includes so much of what she published, from current affairs journalism to food blogging to Broadway plays. She shows us who we are and how we got there and makes you wish she were still here to write about the future.
Nora came out of the old world; when she was a White House intern, she proudly took her then-fiancé on a tour, and when they came to the end of all the fabulous, historic rooms, he told her, “No wife of mine is going to work in a place like this.” But she figured out how to get around every barrier with humor as her weapon. Her second husband, Carl Bernstein, was the star of a famous Washington sex scandal; she turned her role as betrayed wife into the best-selling novel and movie “Heartburn.”
narrate an excerpt from “The
Most of Nora Ephron.”
“The Most” shows Nora’s gift for making the enemies of free speech, reproductive rights and all-purpose social progress look silly. Which, truly, they hate more than anything.
For those of us who knew Nora, the essays are a great reminder of the way she combined a serious attempt to improve the world with dedication to creating the best possible cocktail party. Truly, we want them both. I remember joining her in trying to get deep into “The Golden Notebook,” Doris Lessing’s cerebral feminist novel, and feeling so rewarded when the discussion kinda turned into a celebrity gossip session.
In “The Most,” you’ll find observations on modern life from the personal and pragmatic (“There’s a reason why 40, 50 and 60 don’t look the way they used to, and it’s not because of feminism, or better living through exercise. It’s because of hair dye”) to the very political. “I hope that you choose not to be a lady,” she told the 1996 graduates at her alma mater, Wellesley. “I hope you will find some way to break the rules and make a little trouble out there. And I also hope that you will choose to make some of that trouble on behalf of women.”
“The Most of Nora Ephron” is certainly not all about politics, and you may find some opinions you disagree with — pretty impossible to have as many as she did and not come up with a conflict or two.
But it never dwindles. It ends in two lists: “What I Won’t Miss” and “What I Will Miss.” The things she knew she’d miss range from her kids and her husband Nick Pileggi to “Pride and Prejudice” and pie. The stuff she wouldn’t includes bills, email and — talk about a woman ahead of her time — Clarence Thomas.
Humor is a great coping mechanism, sure. And coping mechanisms are important; you have to survive the present before you can build the future. But “The Most” is a reminder that it’s also a political strategy. Pointing out how ridiculous the status quo is breaks its spell and gives us the freedom to dream up something better. Imagine what she’d say now about library book banning or the latest abortion battle or — oh, wow — the governor of Florida’s war on Disney.
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