Skip to main content
Search
The New Yorker

Humor & Cartoons

Shouts & Murmurs

“Me, Lania”: A First Lady’s Memoir

So I gave Donald my number and the next thing I knew I was living in a penthouse at Trump Tower and asking Alan Dershowitz to stop eating on the couch.
Shouts & Murmurs

Capitalism Is Running Out of Flavors

Starburst FaveREDS: Not a flavor—not even a word.
Shouts & Murmurs

What a Nervous Flier Hears

Up here in the flight deck, I am assisted by First Officer Bentley, with whom I have irreconcilable workplace tension.
Shouts & Murmurs

My New Thing

My new thing is doing everything kind of both thanks to and despite myself.
Shouts & Murmurs

Human Recall Announcement

The Creator confesses that humans have turned out worse than even He anticipated.

Cartoon Caption Contest

We provide a cartoon, you provide a caption. Enter the contest, rate submissions, or vote on finalists.
Peruse a gallery ofcartoons from the issue »

Daily Cartoons

1/15

Cartoon by Jonathan Rosen

Citius, Altius, Fortius

Shouts & Murmurs

Olympic Events I Would Definitely Win (If They Existed)

Cancelling plans, Facebook stalking, and more.
Shouts & Murmurs

I Like Sports

My favorite thing about sports is that they give me an acceptable way to express my feelings in a patriarchal culture that views expressions of male emotion as weak.
Shouts & Murmurs

Olympic Story Lines to Watch

Can the U.S. men’s basketball team win yet another gold medal or will they settle for gold? Can Michael Phelps defeat his goatee once and for all?
Shouts & Murmurs

Necessary Changes to the Olympics Because of COVID

The relay baton must be sanitized between handoffs, and medals come with complimentary sourdough starter.

Comics

Blitt’s Kvetchbook

Sometimes Bobby, Jr., Gets the Bear

Sometimes the bear gets Bobby, Jr.
Culture Desk

Stop Stuffing the Kids Silly

But our parents have made up their minds—the grandchildren must be fed.
Blitt’s Kvetchbook

Donald and J.D.: Is the Honeymoon Over?

Or will they make up?
Shouts & Murmurs

Conciliatory Trophies for Millennials

Advanced skin care, free shipping, and more.

More Humor

Shouts & Murmurs

Worried About the Election? Apply for Citizenship Now!

See if you have what it takes to be a proud Sludgelandian.
Shouts & Murmurs

Writing Prompts for New Parents

Write a story about an underground tunnel that leads someplace unexpected while you sit between a radiator and a diaper pail.
Shouts & Murmurs

Your iCloud Storage Is Full! Here’s Why

Pictures of your pets, hundreds of voice memos, thousands of accidental screenshots, and other items of questionable value.
Shouts & Murmurs

Influencers I’d Actually Want Influencing Me

Jeremy Allen White doing literally anything.
Shouts & Murmurs

Answers to “Where Are You From?,” Translated

“The City”: New York City, obviously. “New York City”: I grew up in Seattle and moved to Brooklyn two months ago.
Shouts & Murmurs

Bot Therapy

He was a widower who had lost his wife to cancer and his only son in a hideous boating accident. He worked in a bunker in Paris. I took the bait.
Shouts & Murmurs

My Strict Morning Routine

Before getting up, I like to lie under the covers for thirty minutes meditating, which is really just a fancy word for “falling back asleep.”
Shouts & Murmurs

A Quick Refresher on the High-School Math You’ve Forgotten

It’s good to know pi to at least twenty decimal places, in case a math sergeant ever asks you to drop and give them twenty digits of pi.
Sketchbook

Mort Gerberg: The Person Who Pushes the Pen

A comic précis of the illustrious life of the longtime New Yorker cartoonist.
Shouts & Murmurs

Choose Your Own Adventure: Starting a Garden

What with all the flowers, you’ve now got a bee problem. How do you handle this?