IF YOU'VE EVER WORN A DIAPER UNIRONICALLY TO OWN THE LIBS, YOU MIGHT BE IN A CULT.
IF YOU THINK PRESIDENTIAL IMMUNITY IS PARAMOUNT BUT HERD IMMUNITY IS A HOAX, YOU MIGHT BE IN A CULT.
IF YOUR RETIREMENT PLAN INCLUDES NFTs AND PIECES OF A SUIT, YOU MIGHT BE IN A CULT.
IF YOU REGRET DONATING TO THE CHURCH BECAUSE NOW YOU CAN'T AFFORD TO DONATE TO ALEX JONES, YOU MIGHT BE IN A CULT.
IF YOU HAVE TO DVR THE LATEST TRUMP RALLY SO YOU DON'T MISS THE CONCURRENT HUNTER BIDEN PENIS DEPOSITION, YOU MIGHT BE IN A CULT.
IF YOUR PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE HAS MORE FELONY COUNTS THAN THE NUMBER OF COMMANDMENTS DISPLAYED AT YOUR LOCAL ELEMENTARY SCHOOL, YOU MIGHT BE IN A CULT.
IF YOU'RE DISATISFIED WITH YOUR CABLE SUBSCRIPTION BECAUSE THERE ARE TOO MANY OUT-OF-MARKET MAGA RALLIES, YOU MIGHT BE IN A CULT.