A ring to propose to him

Last year, during a resizing appointment for a woman’s engagement ring, Keira Wraae-Stewart, founder of the Edinburgh jewellery store ætla, noticed a change of mood in the bride-to-be’s partner. “He’d realised he’d wanted a ring too and he didn’t want to wait until the wedding to wear one,” she says. He didn’t have to. He left the store with an Alice Waese Stitch ring on his finger.

As ideas about marriage and relationships evolve, couples are seeking expressions of commitment that defy the traditional conventions around the giving of rings.

Today, more male same-sex couples are choosing to mark a partnership with a ring and more women are proposing to men — sometimes taking the lead, sometimes with their own follow-up proposal. Wraae-Stewart says that in the past three years she has increased her stock of options for men from popular brands such as Fraser Hamilton, The Ouze, Ruth Tomlinson, Ellis Mhairi Cameron and Alison Macleod.

“To propose with an engagement ring is a beautiful thing to do. It’s romantic and a symbol of commitment and promise,” says Benji Landman, who commissioned jeweller Eliza Walter, founder of Lylie, to design a ring for his partner, Harrison in 2022. “We have a few female friends who proposed to their husbands-to-be. Why would it feel like an unusual thing [for us] to do?”

“I’ve always felt it’s a shame that men didn’t get to experience the joy of being proposed to,” says Emma Fineman, who identifies as queer and proposed to her future husband, Sam Hylton with a green diamond gold set signet ring by Ellis Mhairi Cameron. “It only made sense to me that Sam should have that same moment, where a beautiful piece of shiny magic is given.”

But what do men want when it comes to engagement rings? Ellis Mhairi Cameron says the large plain gold signet ring from her Origins collection is popular and diamonds are on the rise. “A single stone set in chunky yellow gold or wide scatter diamond bands. Something a bit more masculine,” she says. “Even as a jeweller, the image that pops into your head when someone says ‘engagement ring’ is a round, brilliant cut solitaire on a slim band. The rings we’re doing for men are almost anything but that. We’ve done baguettes, ovals, squares or rectangular shapes, but not really round cuts.”

For that, Tiffany & Co can oblige. In 2021, 135 years after introducing its first diamond engagement ring, the LVMH-owned house launched into what it referred to as “a bold new era of love” with The Charles Tiffany Setting Men’s Engagement ring, a signet silhouette in platinum and titanium with a round brilliant centre diamond. The collection now also includes rings with square emerald-cut stones.

London-based designer Hannah Martin says rings from her Mad Love collection­ —­ single stone square, round- and pear-shaped diamonds in sculptural yellow gold and platinum settings — are popular for engagements among both genders. For bespoke commissions for men she has often used sapphires or black diamonds. “They’re a good subtle choice,” she says. The Rome-based jewellery designer Fabio Salini has made three bespoke engagement rings for men using carbon fibre. “Most men prefer materials and shapes and volume that reflect masculinity, so you have to use a language that evokes strength and boldness,” he says.

Most men prefer shapes and volume that reflect masculinity

Brazilian jeweller Lily Gabriella Elia, founder and designer of Lily Gabriella, received her first commission for a bespoke man’s engagement ring in 2019, following her nine-piece collaboration with Sotheby’s Diamonds, where she showcased a series of one-offs designs featuring fancy coloured diamonds. “There was a particularly striking unisex ring featuring a rare fancy brownish, orange-yellow cushion cut diamond, set in a surround of pavé-set rubies, which caught the attention of the client,” says Elia. She is seeing more men following suit. “Traditional gold bands have been common for men’s engagement rings, but I’ve noticed a recent trend in experimenting — be it with a colourful gem, a pavé setting or a solitaire.”

Chaumet is seeing this play out as men opt for styles from their unisex wedding and engagement collections, including solitaire rings with large carat stones, such as the Bee My Love solitaire or the Soir de Fête cocktail ring. A space engineer client of London jewellery designer Annoushka Ducas commissioned a promise ring for himself designed to represent the solar system. “He was very specific. He wanted it in rose gold and black rhodium to represent space and for the diamonds, each different coloured stone representing a different planet,” says Ducas.

Shola Branson, known for his vibrant, stone-smothered statement jewellery, created a men’s engagement commission based on his diamond Bombe ring, a yellow 18-karat gold band, weighted towards the top with diamonds around the edge and a blue sapphire in the middle. “People are rejecting the idea that you’ve got to have the single-stone or three-stone diamond ring and it should cost three months’ salary and blah, blah,” he says. “That’s a thing of the past. We’re in an era where people don’t want to conform as much. Whatever their gender, they want something that expresses who they are and what they’re about.”

The new rule of engagement? There are no rules.