I remember on the university, when we were told all the time, to make sure to never post anything compromising on the internet. Compromising was meant as anything that any employer in the future could use against you.
Some of the obvious ones were pictures of taking drugs or pictures of partying and excessive drinking. But if you listened carefully, they also warned about posting anything, they would not agree with. So I guess no anti-capitalistic posts? Or long art retreats? Or posts about alternative living situations?
On the end, what they wanted it for us to control our online image.
I mean, I still have some traces of this. Will people judge me if I squeal about my favourite manga, anime or books? Can I post some badly research historical notes for myself? Can I rant about my personal problems?
Love Sara’s point here about considering what is compromising and especially from whose perspective — as a recovering perfectionist and an oddball I still struggle with this. Will I turn off potential clients by ranting about AI or climate change or abortion on my personal website? Can I speak politically, safely? Will I not be taken seriously for writing reviews of romance novels and proudly displaying their covers on my reading page? I haven’t yet posted my consulting website on LinkedIn because I’m embarrassed by its simplicity — even though I intentionally made the one-page website as a starter because something would be better than nothing — will I hurt my professional reputation as a designer by sharing a plain website?
Putting things in writing where anyone can see them carries an element of risk in so many domains. There are some topics I simply won’t allow myself to post about for safety reasons, but otherwise am pretty opinionated and wide ranging in this blog. Bit by bit, I’ve been incorporating and consolidating more of my identity onto this website. It’s in part a rejection of packaging myself into a personal brand, of condensing my interests to a “coherent” palette, of prioritizing others’ ability to categorize me over my own self-expression.
Which is why for me, it is 100-times easier to comment on a fanfiction story, then it is on the blog post. Also, it is not at all weird to go through all the stories a certain person had written and comment on their all. Going through the person’s blog posts? That actually feels weird.
😂 I’m glad I’m not the only one who isn’t 100% sure on modern blog commenting etiquette, and who feels weird sometimes reading others’ blog archives. I still carry latent worries about making a social faux pas and vulnerability from being a kid who didn’t fit in and didn’t read social cues well. (I’m glad I can now recognize these patterns in myself but wish it wasn’t quite so much work to reroute those synaptic pathways!)
I still haven’t posted my full blogroll, omitting anyone’s site who feels like just another normal person who I haven’t met and talked with multiple times — I feel awkward to be seen following strangers’ blogs, even though I’m doing the same thing and writing in public 😅🤷♀️ There are 89 RSS feeds in my “people” folder, but I’ve probably only included a handful on my blogroll. (And that’s ignoring everyone I follow on micro.blog, since I read them on site not in RSS.)
Social media sets the expectation that you’re meant to be following people, and for others to follow you, though each platform has different norms; it felt weird to follow randos who weren’t essentially “businesses” on FB and Instagram, but practically expected on Twitter. I’m curious how others feel about the norms of social commentary and following on the IndieWeb? Even this post is a bit awkward from a post kind perspective, because I’m not really replying to Sara, but I’m also not not? I’ve settled on posting this as a like because I feel a reply post ought to be direct when it’s to another personal website.
5 replies on “Compromising information”
How can I build relationships and join in community during a pandemic? Last updated 2024 May 19 | More of my big questions Sub-questions How can I be a better friend? What does community look like? How much are relationships and community bound by geography? How can the Internet support healthy communities and relationships? How…
Amit writes:
The idea of an ephemeral blog has long intrigued me but, in my own musings, I opted for a “Thought for the day” page — now defunct. 1
While it would be a fascinating prospect, the nature of my blog is the ongoing conversation with myself — past, present and future me all sitting down at a table and having a chat. (Although future me, for obvious reasons, can’t give any spoilers.)
I enjoy looking back over what I have previously written, noting in particular where my thoughts and ideas have changed or stayed consistent. That wouldn’t be possible with a truly ephemeral thing. Maybe the workaround would be to have old posts as only visible to oneself.
This ties is with this post from Tracy about publishing potentially compromising information on the web.
The question “what is compromising and especially from whose perspective” is a tricky one. It is so easy to cause unintended offence, especially when some are just looking for anything they can use as ammunition, but the point is wider than this.
It is very much my policy to be open and honest. Writing a post is usually what helps me get my thoughts in order but do I, should I worry about that candour being used against me? Could an employer use posts on mental health as an excuse not to interview (not that they’d ever let on or face accusations of discrimination) or tales of things that happened over 30 years ago?
How far would an ephemeral blog go to alleviate these concerns?
Sometimes things have to be said no matter the consequences but I generally steer clear of politics and religion; not because of not wanting to upset others or through fear of becoming the target of those who might not agree with me. I simply feel that there is enough potentially divisive stuff out there and choose not to pour more fuel on the fire.
the code is still there, just not used or linked to at present ↩
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