Turning Adversity into Your Superpower
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At a workshop we produced a few years ago, I met a young woman named Vasanti.
I asked Vasanti to tell us her story of overcoming adversity and how it turned into her superpower.
Vasanti shared a story about growing up in India. “If you grew up in India and you wanted to leave the country, everyone would tell you that you need to get really good at computer programming and get a coding job in America,” she explained.
So, Vasanti enrolled in a program to become a coder. But she wasn’t the best coder in school. One teacher even bullied her for her limited skills in front of her peers. Her teacher’s words embarrassed her, as they would many of us. Worse, they made her feel that she’d never succeed, no matter how hard she tried. Vasanti was discouraged. She was ready to change her career path altogether. But she decided to give herself one more chance and teach herself to code.
She found that she was great at teaching herself and became so good that she not only learned to code, she overcame the expectations of others.
Eventually, she found a computer programming job in the United States.
“Vasanti, it sounds like you like rising up to meet challenges,” I told her.
She teared up in a room full of her peers.
“You’re right. I do. I love being told I can’t do something now, just so I can rise up to the challenge and prove others wrong.”
“It sounds like you’re a good self-starter. It sounds like you’re a lifelong learner,” I said.
Her eyes welled up again. “Yes. I love figuring out ways I can succeed.”
I looked around the room and saw a lot of people nodding their heads and writing things down on paper.
“Vasanti, look around. I think a lot of people love this value of yours.”
Ryan, one of her teammates, was writing too. “Ryan, what are you jotting down right now?” I asked him.
“Honestly? I’m listing out new assignments that I can give to Vasanti.”
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“Vasanti, does it make you happy to know that people are already thinking of new challenges that you can help them overcome?”
She nodded, and I could see how proud she was.
Vasanti’s story demonstrates that we can acknowledge past moments of adversity and turn them into our strengths. The bullying she experienced helped her become a self-starter who rises up to meet challenges. And those experiences and skills benefit her team, as she continues to promote creativity, innovation, and growth for herself and among her peers.
As my friend, Kathleen Griffith, says in her book, Build Like a Woman, Vasanti went from breakdown to breakthrough. She had a roadblock that stood in her way, seemingly about to block her movement to America, and she got through it. As Kathleen described to me when hearing about Vasanti’s story, Vasanti:
1. Acknowledged her breakdown.
2. Identified where she wanted to break through.
3. Declared the action she was going to take.
Further, by sharing what she had been through and what it had taught her about herself and her skill set, she empowered her team to reach out to her when they encountered a problem or challenge.
For you leaders out there, I invite you to bring this model into your next team meeting, asking your people: What is one adverse experience you had that shaped you, but that none of your current colleagues or teammates know about? What’s an obstacle you’ve had to overcome?
You can set a five-minute timer and encourage them to think deeply. After the writing exercise, break people up into groups of three and have them share these stories and insights with their colleagues.
Some of them will talk about overcoming the doubts of others; some might share about grappling with the loss of loved ones; and others explain how they made it through the first days, weeks and months of debilitating injuries. Each story is raw and real and vulnerable, and each one helps people remember an important truth. When they dive back into that story, they remember that they once overcame a great period of adversity. Oftentimes, they find that the hard times they are going through now pale in comparison to what they have already been through.
From there, reconvene and debrief, giving people the opportunity to share with the group as a whole. Some people will share how good it feels to hear other people’s stories of adversity, and some people will describe how good it felt to share their own.
Then, ask them to ponder another set of questions:
1. What new superpowers have you developed because of your story?
2. How has what you experienced in the past equipped you to meet the challenges of the future?
3. How will you use your superpowers to support your team?
This step is important because it helps them realize that a negative past experience equips them with certain benefits. They get the opportunity to not only recognize the superpower they have developed but also to think about how those superpowers improve their lives on a consistent basis.
After they reflect on their superpowers for a few minutes, have them write down a statement: “I’m excited to contribute my superpowers of ________ to our team, and I’m going to start by ________.”
Recognizing and sharing the tough stuff can help teams grow their understanding of one another, build trust and get closer.
It’s just one way that we can transform adversity into a superpower.
My hope for all of you creative leaders out there is to write down the story and superpowers you reflected on above and share that story with someone this week.
Finish the story by saying “…and I’m so grateful this occurred in my life.”