How to Be an Excellent Gift Giver

Selecting the perfect gift can be daunting. As Wirecutter’s gifts writer, I constantly hear how challenging it is to find a pitch-perfect item that’s unique yet useful, familiar yet surprising. So I called in the experts: Celebrity stylist/personal shopper Sam Spector and personal stylist Allie Koehler make it their business to buy discerning clients items that they’ll love. The tips below will also help you find that perfect thing to make your recipient smile with genuine surprise and delight.

Plan in advance

Few of us think about buying gifts prior to the last minute. Yet if you plan ahead, you’ll never scramble to find the right thing. “I am never not looking for a gift for someone,” Koehler said. Work in advance by writing down ideas as they come to you: If you’re out shopping with your sister and she longingly dangles a necklace but then puts it back, take note. If your boyfriend comments how “totally rad” it would be to take a surfing class but then can’t justify the cost, file that information away. Your mom mentions she warped her favorite cutting board? You know what to do. And be on the lookout for nice items—at others people’s homes, in restaurants, and, yes, online. Gift inspiration can strike anywhere.

I keep future gift ideas organized by entering them into contact information for specific people in my phone. That way, as significant dates draw near, I have a list at the ready. There’s no need to wait until the special day rolls around—buying early ensures that you’ll already have any specific items. “I am always sitting on a few gifts,” Koehler said. You should be too—just don’t lose them. If you purchase in advance, note where you’ve stashed them. My mother, the best gift giver I know, famously hid my gifts so well that she lost them entirely.

Pay attention to interests (but not too much)

Your recipient’s interests are a useful launch point for shopping. “I love following themes. I think that’s a great way to gift-give,” Spector said. For example, if your recipient is a committed runner, perhaps they’re lacking gear that would enhance their practice, Spector explained. A movie buff might enjoy film camera cufflinks. But you can take the theme too far: When I was a kid, my favorite animal was the polar bear, and over the next 20-ish years, my mom proceeded to buy every polar bear sweater, figurine, notebook, and tissue box on the market. That’s almost being a little too committed to a theme (but only almost—I still wear that polar bear sweater!).

If your recipient’s interests are less on-the-nose, a bit of sleuthing can help. What books do they have on their shelves? Is there an author they seem to particularly enjoy? Try the latest book from that oeuvre. What brands do they follow on Instagram? Your job will be even easier if they’ve liked a product photo. If Beyoncé was their most-played artist on Spotify for the year, maybe they’d like an Ivy Park sweatshirt. If Tartine is their favorite bakery, maybe they’d cherish the cookbook by its owner.

Ask for help

Gift giving need not be a solo venture—you’re allowed to phone a friend. A girlfriend’s sister will likely know if she prefers gold or silver. If you draw your uncle in the family gift swap, your cousin can probably help you figure out his shoe size. Even if you just need a gut check, it can be helpful to ask mutual friends what they think. My sister shows me every little trinket she likes so that when her befuddled boyfriend inevitably shoots me a text, I have foolproof suggestions. Do you run the risk of spoiling the surprise? Of course. (I always tell my sister in advance what she’ll be receiving, obviously, even when I promise the boyfriends I won’t.) But a beloved non-surprise is more successful than a polite smile and a request for a gift receipt.

Experiences and perishables are a safe bet

“I love giving the gift of experience rather than something materialistic,” Spector said. Whether that’s a cooking class, a spa appointment, or tickets to the ballet, experience gifts are an especially good option when shopping for the person who has everything. And, as is true for all gifts, specificity rules. If Dirty Dancing is a favorite movie, maybe a private mambo class would be appreciated. If your recipient is a huge Hemingway fan, consider a trip to visit the descendants of his thumbed cats in Florida (or maybe just a bottle of very fine Champagne).

Giving a treat like food, flowers, or wine is almost always a good idea. Just make sure you really know the person well, lest you give a box of milk chocolates to a vegan or a bottle of booze to a teetotaler. Perishables also feel more special if you stick to local producers, Koehler said. And a gift can even be something they love from a city they used to live in. Goldbelly, an online marketplace for regional foods, has a great selection of local delicacies that ship nationwide. Or consider getting your recipient something delicious from their favorite spot. For me that would be a pint pack from my latest ice cream obsession, WanderLust.

Personalization is more impactful than price

A pricier gift isn’t necessarily a better gift. A $10 subscription to an esoteric, hard-to-find magazine someone loves will be more appreciated than a $100 first-edition book that has no significance for them. “Price doesn’t play any impact on how people enjoy something,” Spector said. “It truly is the thought that counts.” Even an inexpensive gift can feel extra-special if it’s personalized. Frame a wonderful photo and add a note. Monogram an otherwise-basic tote bag with an inside joke. (We have other great ideas for other custom gifts.) Or think about your recipient’s origins: I bought myself a beautiful artist’s print of a scene from my hometown. It wasn’t expensive, but it’s so steeped in memory that I smile every time I look at it. Likewise, supervising editor Hannah Morrill suggests giving your recipient a a custom hand-cut map of a city they love.

Make the practical feel special

Sometimes the person you’re buying for would benefit more from a practical gift than from a new trinket. Koehler said that after the birth of her child, Seamless gift cards from her friends—rather than cashmere layettes or pewter rattles—were a godsend. Likewise, a gift card for a favorite grocery store or a subway pass could make excellent gifts, depending on your recipient’s situation. To elevate a monetary gift, consider slipping it into the front cover of a particularly thoughtful book or presenting it along with a bouquet of flowers.

And if all else fails ... consult the experts

Shameless plug: That would be us! It is my full-time job to hunt down good gift ideas for everyone on your list. So give our robust gift-giving section a browse. You may just find exactly what you—and your recipient—are looking for.