Bullying is real. "Why do bullies bully? Because they can. Bullying is about power, and in a sense, it is very democratic: The power of the bully comes from the people. It starts with an opening gambit, a first salvo. The would-be bully makes some sort of move, a taunt, a swipe or a snub. The test is not for the victim. It is to see how others will react: thumbs up or thumbs down. In many ways, the victim is powerless. It doesn’t matter how she responds. Only the bystanders, the audience, can give a red or green light." The victim can not fix the situation and often the only "solution" is for the victim to leave. The bully moves on to another victim, unless people stop giving the bully the green light.
This article speaks to some very important issues, and hit me particularly hard. I’ve just come home from a visit with dear friends whose beautiful, talented son died by suicide last week - and a key driver was a sustained campaign of harassment from friends-turned-bullies after a breakup that the school refused to address. The world will always have bullies. The thing we can control is how we individually and collectively respond to them: do we tolerate it or do we call it out?
Jeffrey Kays
1mo
Thank you Leah. Bullying doesn’t just happen on the playgrounds. You see it everywhere…including work and politics.
Joy Marcus
1mo
Years ago, my colleague’s son punched the bully at a school competion, in front of the attending parents. When the parents looked to him after the incident, he calmly informed them that he told his son to do that. I thought it was a brave and necessary move.
This is so powerful and insightful compared to our society's default/acceptance that bullying is just something normal that everyone goes through at some point. The heartbreaking story and article illustrates so well that there is a better way. It begins with education around the concepts presented in the article, so thank you so much for sharing!
Robyn Gay
1mo
Growing up my last name and tendency to turn bright red in the face attracted bullies. One died of an asthma attack when we were in high school and the other last I heard was in jail. It made me realize they were dealing with their own issues. And karma is real.
Lorraine Romasco
1mo
Great article. Speak up - as long as you’re safe (put your mask on first). But speak up. Workplace bullying is a thing. There are ways to speak up there too. Be that person.
Communications Expert / Former Employer Brand Leader / Ex-Deloitte. Loves all things Internal and External Comms, Employer Brand, and Employee Experience.
1moAs someone who suffered from severe alopecia areata as a child (losing about 75% of my hair. Was a rough 4th and 5th grade, for certain. The bullying, because I looked different, was relentless. My classmates thought I had cancer or something else. I felt powerless and alone. I cannot imagine what this time of my life would have resulted in had social media been around in the early 80s and I am thankful. Not sure I'd still be here to write this post, candidly. Kids can be cruel. I look back and feel bad for those who tormented me - sad because they truly have no idea the hurt, pain and lack of confidence it left me with. The good news is it made me resilient as hell -- something I'm super proud of today. I look back at this time as perhaps the most powerful lesson I learned about myself and humanity.