The New Airplane Etiquette Rules
How to be a polite passenger and defuse conflicts if and when they arise
Crowded planes, tight seats, long delays, rude passengers—all of these conspire to make flying more trying than ever. What to do about it? Sometimes a little common courtesy is in order. But sometimes you need to know how to manage situations that run the risk of becoming a serious conflict. Here, an essential guide to read before your next flight.
The New Airplane Etiquette
Don’t Start an Armrest War
The protocol, says Diane Gottsman, an etiquette expert and owner of The Protocol School of Texas, is that the person in the middle seat has access to both armrests because they’re in the least comfortable seat. If they’re not using them, ask whether you can use the one nearest you.
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A Passenger Asks You to Switch Seats
It’s okay to say no, says travel writer Benet Wilson, except perhaps when a parent needs to sit with a small child. In other situations, you could politely say something like, "I’m terribly sorry, but I need to sleep on this flight and chose a window seat for that reason." However, if you are being asked to swap an equal seat, say an aisle seat for one that’s one row back, it’s probably nice to agree.
You’re Seated Near a Crying Baby
"You have to keep in mind that the child is likely experiencing some problem, maybe ear pain or fear," Gottsman says. "You can ask the flight attendant if there is a quieter seat available, but there are probably people all around you asking the same thing." This is another situation, she says, where noise-canceling headphones can come in handy.
You’re Allergic to Your Seatmate’s Dog
"Once a woman behind me had taken her dog out of its case and the animal was hitting my leg," Wilson says. Wilson explained that she was allergic, and the woman, indignantly, put the dog back in its case. "I try not to drag the flight attendant into small stuff. I try to politely handle it myself," she says.
You’re Near an Angry Passenger
"If someone is being so aggressive that you start to feel concerned or overwhelmed, then call the flight attendant," says Gottsman. "They are trained to handle aggressive passengers, and they can make decisions you can’t make on that plane—like having someone removed if necessary."
You’re in a Seat Repeatedly Kicked by a Child
Gottsman suggests you take a breath, and in a pleasant tone turn around and say, "I know your toddler is young, but he is kicking my seat. Would you mind helping me with that?" Wilson has an additional suggestion: "I tell the parent one trick that I learned when I was traveling with my child is to take their shoes off. They don’t like to kick in their socks."
Editor’s Note: This article also appeared in the October 2023 issue of Consumer Reports magazine.
