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If Only I Had Told Her Paperback – February 6, 2024


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An intensely emotional and gripping companion novel to Laura Nowlin's USA Today and New York Times Bestselling novel If He Had Been With Me about the love that both breaks and heals us. Perfect for fans of Colleen Hoover and Jenny Han.

If only I'd told her that I loved her years ago, then I wouldn't be here now.

Finn has always loved Autumn. She's not just the girl next door or his mother's best friend's daughter, she is his everything. But she's not his girlfriend. That's Sylvie, and Finn would never hurt her, so there's no way Autumn could know how he truly feels. 

Jack, Finn's best friend, isn't so sure. He's seen Finn and Autumn together. How could she not know? And how is he supposed to support and protect Finn when heartache seems inevitable?

Autumn surrounds herself with books and wants to write her own destiny―but one doesn't always get a new chapter and fate can be cruel to those in love. 

Told through three different perspectives, If Only I Had Told Her is a love story brimming with truth, tragedy, and the unexpected bonds that heal us.


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From the Publisher

If only I'd told her that I loved her years ago, then I wouldn't be here now.
Companion to the #1 New York Times bestselling, viral BookTok sensation: If He Had Been With Me.

Editorial Reviews

Review

"A full-tissue-box read." ― Booklist

About the Author

Laura Nowlin is the author of the #1 New York Times bestselling and TikTok sensation If He Had Been with Me and If Only I Had Told Her. She holds a BA in English with an emphasis in creative writing from Missouri State University. Laura lives in St. Louis with her family.

Product details

  • Publisher ‏ : ‎ Sourcebooks Fire (February 6, 2024)
  • Language ‏ : ‎ English
  • Paperback ‏ : ‎ 416 pages
  • ISBN-10 ‏ : ‎ 1728276225
  • ISBN-13 ‏ : ‎ 978-1728276229
  • Reading age ‏ : ‎ 16+ years, from customers
  • Grade level ‏ : ‎ 8 - 12
  • Item Weight ‏ : ‎ 13.3 ounces
  • Dimensions ‏ : ‎ 5.5 x 1.04 x 8.25 inches
  • Customer Reviews:

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Laura Nowlin
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Customer reviews

4.3 out of 5 stars
6,835 global ratings

Customers say

Customers find the emotional tone compelling and heartbreaking. They also find the characters deeply relatable and draw them in from the very beginning. However, some find the book too long and unfinished. Opinions are mixed on the closure, with some finding it helpful and others saying it doesn't provide closure. Readers also have mixed feelings about the writing style, with others finding it well-written and easy to read, while others find it confusing and frustrating.

AI-generated from the text of customer reviews

40 customers mention "Emotional tone"32 positive8 negative

Customers find the book emotional, sad, and addicting. They say it beautifully weaves together the complexities of relationships, reminding readers of the importance of honesty. Readers also mention the loss of Finn is heartbreaking and the content is impactful.

"...I think it’s because this is so relatable to so many- we may not know a situation exactly like Finn’s and Autumn’s, but we have witnessed and most..." Read more

"...a story that will invoke heart-felt emotions and will give you a good sentimental cry. I truly loved this series, it’s officially one of my favorite...." Read more

"...This story gripped me emotionally and kept me reading. I didn't want to stop. The way it was written helped me grieve with the characters...." Read more

"...This book beautifully weaves together the complexities of relationships, reminding readers of the importance of honesty and communication...." Read more

4 customers mention "Characters"4 positive0 negative

Customers find the characters in the book deeply relatable. They also say their emotional depth draws them in from the very beginning.

"...The characters are deeply relatable, and their emotional depth draws you in from the very first page...." Read more

"...They way she depicts each characters greif is unbelievable and I had to keep putting it down because I was sobbing. My new favorite book" Read more

"...The characters have the right amount of depth that you wonder for more, but are satisfied with what you got." Read more

"...for sure made me cry a couple times and laugh and felt the love with the characters." Read more

3 customers mention "Pace"3 positive0 negative

Customers find the pace of the book fast.

"...it was a fast, heartbreaking read that left me wanting so much more. The book itself was still amazing, but I wish it had been a little different" Read more

"“The only way out, is through.”This book was a fast read, it was okay. I enjoyed reading Finn’s POV and even getting Jacks POV...." Read more

"...I old from viewpoints I wasn’t expecting. I was so excited, read it pretty quick but just needed more from the main characters." Read more

25 customers mention "Writing style"16 positive9 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the writing style. Some find it very well written, while others say it's confusing and frustrating to read. They also say the language is too graphic and the book feels repetitive at times.

"...n’t entangled more in their lives- they will be, but these POVs were so strongly written, I didn’t feel like they needed to be around each other,..." Read more

"...Honestly - this book wasn't needed, it wasn't amazing and it didn't add a whole lot that we didn't already read in the previous book...." Read more

"...The author's prose is both evocative and poignant, creating a story that stays with you long after you've finished reading...." Read more

"...it felt very long yet unfinished, but still beautifully written. it was a fast, heartbreaking read that left me wanting so much more...." Read more

9 customers mention "Closure"3 positive6 negative

Customers have mixed opinions about the closure of the book. Some find it provides the closure they need, while others say it doesn't.

"...There was no closure with sylvie and the car accident? And her and Jack ending up after that fact was hard for me to digest...." Read more

"...I feel such closure, and the last page of the book is probably some of the best advice you can carry going forward when you lose someone you love...." Read more

"...I feel it did not provide closure, and I wish it was more focused on Finn’s feelings towards Autumn...." Read more

"...The ending was abrupt and provided little closure after a good amount of lead up at the end." Read more

5 customers mention "Length"0 positive5 negative

Customers find the book too long and drawn out.

"...However I think that part was a bit too long and a bit drawn out. Though everything was indeed covered...." Read more

"...it felt very long yet unfinished, but still beautifully written. it was a fast, heartbreaking read that left me wanting so much more...." Read more

"...He was Finnys other best friend. It makes sense. I hated that Autumns POV was so short. And literally at the end of the book...." Read more

"...The book felt too long but unfinished at the same time, I expected this to be Finn’s book, and only 1/3rd of it is his POV." Read more

If he had been with me series💔
4 out of 5 stars
If he had been with me series💔
I sort of feel unsatisfied with the second books ending. I enjoyed reading about Autumn establishing herself as a new adult and as a mother. However, I also wanted to read about her life after the baby was born, whether their child would look more like Finn or Autumn or a perfect combination of them both. I wanted to see Autumn grow a little more as a young woman. I just feel as though the ending was a bit rushed. However, All in all, I loved and enjoyed reading this series very much. I finished the first book in 4 days and the second book within one day. I 100% recommend this book to anyone who is looking to read a story that will invoke heart-felt emotions and will give you a good sentimental cry. I truly loved this series, it’s officially one of my favorite. Thank you author.
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Top reviews from the United States

Reviewed in the United States on April 9, 2024
I waited 2 months to get into the right mindset to read this one, and I’m so glad I did, because the emotions in this book, for these characters, for Finn, it’s just something I’ve never experienced in any book I’ve ever read. I think it’s because this is so relatable to so many- we may not know a situation exactly like Finn’s and Autumn’s, but we have witnessed and most of us have endured some tragedy in life.

Full disclosure: I cried through about 50% of the book. But honest to God, I ended this book with a smile.

The 3 point of views were everything, and so well done, I have no complaints.

Getting Finny’s POV was EVERYTHING. His love for Autumn was true and deep, and to understand how he really felt about her was simply…bittersweet. It’s hard to find a better word to describe. I felt that we were privileged with so many more details of their final 24 hours together, and getting more of Sylvie’s background was necessary.

Yes, you question EVERYTHING leading up to his final moments, but I didn’t feel as angry as I did in the first one, and I think that’s because I was coming off the high that was the first 17 chapters of this book and through his eyes. I love you, Finny.

Jack’s POV hit me hard, and I cried the most ugly tears throughout his chapters. He details the aftermath of the accident, and we endure the funeral with Jack, and him laying his best friend in the ground- all things we know are happening, but we read it in live time with him. I would also find myself laughing at something he said, and then crying again by the end of the page.

I was surprised Jack and Autumn weren’t entangled more in their lives- they will be, but these POVs were so strongly written, I didn’t feel like they needed to be around each other, and they don’t because they do have their own lives. Jack’s college roommate Brett threw me for the best loop, and I broke again.

And our sweet Autumn…her POV was welcomed, and it was so comforting. I cried sad tears and tears of joy. She’s growing and maturing. I don’t hug, and I would wrap her in my arms if I could.

The Mothers were the true standouts here, and a few other surprise characters that will provide such a cocoon of support for Finny’s and Autumn’s baby…as well as Autumn herself. She’s so strong, and at the end, you realize, this is life. Sometimes the hand we’re dealt is not great, and sometimes we drag our feet for years to get where we should have been to begin with, and sometimes it’s just too late. But things have a crazy way of working out, and believe me when I tell you, that I truly smiled at the end of this book. I feel such closure, and the last page of the book is probably some of the best advice you can carry going forward when you lose someone you love. Surrounding yourself with those who carry pieces of them within themselves, it’s just…devastatingly beautiful.
19 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on July 19, 2024
I sort of feel unsatisfied with the second books ending. I enjoyed reading about Autumn establishing herself as a new adult and as a mother. However, I also wanted to read about her life after the baby was born, whether their child would look more like Finn or Autumn or a perfect combination of them both. I wanted to see Autumn grow a little more as a young woman. I just feel as though the ending was a bit rushed. However, All in all, I loved and enjoyed reading this series very much. I finished the first book in 4 days and the second book within one day. I 100% recommend this book to anyone who is looking to read a story that will invoke heart-felt emotions and will give you a good sentimental cry. I truly loved this series, it’s officially one of my favorite. Thank you author.
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4.0 out of 5 stars If he had been with me series💔
Reviewed in the United States on July 19, 2024
I sort of feel unsatisfied with the second books ending. I enjoyed reading about Autumn establishing herself as a new adult and as a mother. However, I also wanted to read about her life after the baby was born, whether their child would look more like Finn or Autumn or a perfect combination of them both. I wanted to see Autumn grow a little more as a young woman. I just feel as though the ending was a bit rushed. However, All in all, I loved and enjoyed reading this series very much. I finished the first book in 4 days and the second book within one day. I 100% recommend this book to anyone who is looking to read a story that will invoke heart-felt emotions and will give you a good sentimental cry. I truly loved this series, it’s officially one of my favorite. Thank you author.
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2 people found this helpful
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Reviewed in the United States on February 19, 2024
This is not the first book but it's the first one that I read in this series. I am thinking that was not a mistake. I have always enjoyed reading YA fiction from the male point of view, probably because that is so different from a woman's point of view. And Finneas was such a lovable character - an all around good guy who found himself caught in a love triangle of his own making. Those are also my favorite romances to read because young love is often confusing and felt so deeply. It can be like Romeo and Juliet and sometimes be downright tragic at times. The writing style is one of the hardest to do well, and that is present tense. But it really does make you feel like you are there in the moment as the action is happening.

This story gripped me emotionally and kept me reading. I didn't want to stop. The way it was written helped me grieve with the characters. If felt torn the same way that Finneas did when it came to his lifelong love for Autumn. That was so well done, as was the emotional punch in the gut I felt at the end of the first point of view. I cried. Then it deepened even more when in Jack's POV. He had to somehow move on in life without his best friend. I loved getting to know his heart. The regrets, the pain, the joy and the stages of grief were so well done.

Then there was Autumn's point of view, which would more closely resemble my own if I were to find myself in her situation. I felt like I knew these characters - like they were real people. They were so complex and three dimensional. As an author myself, I feel like this deep point of view gave me a new and fresh perspective on developing emotion in scenes. I've always enjoyed developing characters, but this was somehow deeper the way it was done. It's an approach to writing that I am looking forward to developing while writing my own novels.

One last thought. I didn't care much for the cursing, but it wasn't overly done. And honestly, most guys think and talk like that in the real world, so the point of view made sense. It added to their emotion in the way it was expressed so that was also well done. The author did not focus on what happens to someone after they die. In fact, she didn't mention the afterlife at all. What she did do was show how a person's life can make an impact on the lives of other people who are still living, and in that sense, they will live on despite having died. The characters found themselves often asking what Finn would want as if he was still there, and in doing so, they were honoring his memory. That was a perspective I had not considered before and I found it to be healing.
22 people found this helpful
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Top reviews from other countries

Brooklyn
5.0 out of 5 stars Tragically beautiful
Reviewed in Canada on April 1, 2024
I was hesitant to read this book after just finishing If he had been with me. The first book was heartbreaking, and I knew the heart break would continue throughout this book, but I read it anyways, and I’m really glad I did. The characters grief was so well written, that I felt like I was grieving with them. I still find myself thinking “I can’t believe Finny is dead.”
If you’ve ever experienced love and grief by tragic loss of a loved one, this book will tear you open again. It’s heartbreaking, but yet I still highly recommend it. I finished both books in a weekend….. I also never write reviews but needed to say how impactful this series is.
Loïs Vos
5.0 out of 5 stars One of the best books I’ve read
Reviewed in the Netherlands on July 4, 2024
One of the best books I’ve read
MVS
5.0 out of 5 stars Our daughter loved it
Reviewed in Sweden on June 29, 2024
Bought for our 12 year old daughter, who binged on it
Sophie L
5.0 out of 5 stars Great read
Reviewed in the United Kingdom on June 23, 2024
Loved this as much as the first. Lots of tears but a great read!
Luis Miguel
5.0 out of 5 stars bueno
Reviewed in Spain on May 31, 2024
libro para leerlo