chapter 2: k, so now i am a quaking wereduck?!" i quaked. that was horibble at first, but(t) now, after allmost 1000 years (yeah, im immortal) i really like t be a swaging wereduck. but back on topic yeah yeah... after i became a wereduck, i thougt to me self: "but where would i be accepted by socity? i KNOW!" i quaked. "i'll go to novigrad! they would love me there! i am famous by my arts, and i am complitly different! in novigrad they LOVE different dudes,like: mages, witchers,elves,dwarves,foreners and refugees! then to novigrad!" i quaked so happy![]
on mt way, i ran by a little town called 'crow perch', i heard that reacently their baron hanged himself cause his waif died. he was called 'the juicy baron' i think. so i thought to my self why not, than walked to the bridge. there was two guardsmen by the bridge that were talking about dancing with a witcher or something. i walked to them nicly, and the pulled there pointy mettal sticks (like a troll friend of mine likes to call swords. he such a dumb dumb) so i tried to explain to the guard that i am friend, and then one of them said: "hear that fred?! a duck-man! maybe the sergent would like 'em!" and the other one agreed. they put the swords down. "thel you what duck-man, if you'd agree to come with us for the new baron see you, and we get a price, then we wont kill you." said the guard. "k" i said and came with them to a castle. "hello!" i said to the sergent, he looked like a douche. "what the 'quak' is that?! why would you bring this awful beast in here?!" the two guards-dudes looked unhappy, so i huged them. "get the 'quak' off me prick!" one of them said. "don't ye run away from my love!" i quaked and huged harder, untill they cryed of joy, but i think they was so happy ther bones crushed. and then they fell asleep in grape-juice. the sergent actully smiled, but a woman who where there screamed. "i have a VERRY special offer for you" said the sergent. 'yay! it's a pumpkin' i hoped, i love pumpckins. "i want to hire you." he said. so maybe it wasen't pumpkin. then i thought 'oohhh... he want me to have sex with him!' " i won't have sex with yooouuuu!" i yelled. "that not why i want to hire you, i want you to kill someone with this strengt of your's" said the sergent. "i want something in return." i quaked. "what? i can give you women,coins, a roof to live under! what do you want?" "i wanna pumpkin." " a... pumpkin?" the sergent ask. "yes, a pumpkin." "then i shall give you the most glorious pumpkin of all! if you'd agree to kill someone." "who?" i asked. "radovid v" he said. i heard about radovid, he was the ice-cream dude in novigrad, where i wanted to go. "il'l do it! i shall kill radovid, and gain me pumpkin!" later that day, i left crow perch. on my way of the pumpkin.[]
Witcher Wiki
