You Are Already Fit
HIGH It’s a fine franchise choice to work out to.
LOW There’s no Japanese voiceover option, and the alternatives aren’t great.
WTF Kenshiro claiming that my punches are every bit as good as his. Uh… no.
Oh God! I’m not sure if anyone’s aware of this, but NUCLEAR WAR OCCURRED AT THE TURN OF THE CENTURY AND MOST OF THE PLANET IS NOW A SCORCHED WASTELAND! Oh no!
Bandits! Pillaging! Wanton slaughter! Bad words! Survivors rummaging through the wreckage for irradiated rats to feast on! It’s horrible, and only the successor to the Divine Fist of the North Star Kenshiro and his knowledge of boxing exercise techniques can save the day for all the wafer thin, malnourished victims tottering around the ruined Earth scavenging for meagre scraps of food.
Well, sort of. It’s made clear during the introduction that players are rediscovering the lost art of pre-apocalypse exercise instead of the murderously explosive art of Hokuto Shinken, so don’t expect to be able to waltz down the street blowing up passers-by at random in real life after a few sessions on the Switch.
In gameplay terms, anyone who’s played any of the Fitness Boxing titles should be able to slide right in here. Standing upright and holding the Switch’s nunchuck controllers in each hand, players will mimic the actions of their chosen onscreen instructor as they follow an exercise routine from start to finish, optionally warming up and cooling down at the end of each session. Sessions typically last between twenty to forty minutes depending on player choice, and range from “This Isn’t Bad, Actually” to “Oh Sweet Jesus I’m Gonna Die Help Me Help Help Help” in terms of intensity.
After the workout, each instructor will give out some advice or observations on the player’s performance. Kenshiro mentioned that I had an amazing jab and he couldn’t do better himself — and considering he can punch through someone’s skull and atomize the person standing behind them, I found this to be quite a compliment. Either that or he just lied straight to my face.
Players are also graded on their performance and how well they kept up with the onscreen action and given a bunch of stats showing estimated calories burned, punch success rate and the like. It all gets jotted down into a permanent gameplay record so users can track their exercise sessions over time, and each workout also doles out a little cash for buying new music, instructors and outfits along the way. Want characters like Mamiya or Raoh to teach fitness boxing instead? Go for it.
The other, more original, half of this package revolves around battles where Kenshiro works his way through multiple rounds of bad guys to square off against enemy bosses such as Shin and Southe… sorry, Thouzer. This mode isn’t that different from standard workouts as far as gameplay goes, but there are new victory conditions attached to the workout. Perform combination instructions correctly and the bad guys get defeated, get it wrong and they stay on their feet.
Bosses are slightly different, with both Kenshiro and adversaries like Shin having a health bar as well as attacking and defending phases. Hit the combos precisely during either sequence and Kenshiro’s opponent will get smacked and whiff their attacks, fail and he’ll be the one getting hammered into the ground instead.
Like I said, it’s basically the same mechanics as in the standard workouts, but there’s definitely something more engaging about ‘winning’ the workout as enemies fall by the wayside. That said, this is an all ages title. Adversaries seem to collapse in a weird sweaty explosion when defeated as opposed to having their intestines rupturing like they accidentally scarfed down a pack of military grade semtex.
The music seems mainly comprised of original pieces, though some of the more recognizable themes such as Tough Boy and Ai wo Torimodose also make an appearance… minus their lyrics, which is slightly disappointing. Songs can be set to each individual phase of the workout, so there’s also no danger of being forced to listen to a single song on repeat for more than half an hour.
Annoyingly, there’s no option to choose the Japanese audio for dialogue and the English voiceovers are inconsistent to put it mildly. Kenshiro and Raoh sound pretty much okay, even if their line delivery lacks dynamism. Toki sounds like he’s reading entries out of a phonebook and Rin’s performance simply confuses me, like it was meant for another character entirely. There are French and Italian options, but it’d have been nice to get the original Japanese dialogue given the origins of the franchise.
Included with our review copy was a code for some DLC — essentially, a few side games which can be played to unlock music and outfits for instructors. One of these minigames involves repeatedly punching Kenshiro’s rotund adversary Heart a multitude of times to blast through his blubber, then keep doing it over successive rounds until fatigue causes failure. The other event involves taking control of Raoh and punching bandits as far into the distance as possible through a combination of correct timing and swift punch speed. They’re a neat addition to the package that add some variety, but they’re hardly vital.
In summation, Fitness Boxing: Fist of the North Star delivers on its given premise. It’s still an exercise program first and foremost, so don’t expect the game aspect to distract from the fact that players are working up a sweat and fatigue is setting in as continual combinations of hooks and uppercuts slowly take their toll.
Even so, there’s definitely something to be said for performing fitness routines to visuals of rambunctious post-apocalyptic punks being smacked in their stupid faces to keep players engaged. And hell, if Kenshiro himself can’t get players to burn off some excess calories, who can?
Rating: 6.5 out of 10
Disclosures: This game is developed and published by Imagineer. It is currently available on Switch. This copy of the game was obtained via publisher and reviewed on the Switch. Approximately 15 hours of play were devoted to various workouts. There are no multiplayer modes.
Parents: According to the ESRB, this game is rated E (10+) and contains Mild Violence and Language. The official description reads: This is a rhythm/fitness game in which players perform boxing exercises by following timed prompts along with music. Players match an on-screen character’s movements (e.g., jabs, uppercuts, dodges) to earn points and achieve fitness. In a Battle Mode, matching movements correctly results in players punching opponents (e.g., outlaws, rivals) until they are defeated. Players can also use special techniques to unleash a flurry of punches against an opponent. The word “bastard” appears in the game.
Colorblind Modes: There are no colorblind modes available.
Deaf & Hard of Hearing Gamers: This game offers subtitles. (See examples above.) The subtitles cannot be altered and/or resized. There are no audio cues needed to successfully play the game. This is fully accessible.
Remappable Controls: No, this game’s controls are not remappable. There is no controller map. Most motions are performed using the player’s body to punch, with very little typical use of the controller outside of menus and the like.
The chance discovery of a muddy, burnt out copy of '50 Shades of Grey' in a hunting pit gave him an appreciation for complex plots, characters and overarching narrative, and the unexpected gift of a Spectrum 48k allowed him to indulge in these newfound sensibilities with intelligent, highbrow games such as 'flee from the badly animated spinning turquoise dolphins' or 'avoid the deadly glowing bricks of doom'.
The fusion of both these interests finally culminated with Darren teaching himself how to write by basically guessing at what words might look like when jotted down on paper as opposed to being howled inarticulately at the skies.
Now others occasionally get to read his scribblings. Lucky them.
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