What is a Romance Scam?
A romance scam involves cybercriminals creating fake identities on dating websites, social media platforms, or messaging apps to establish a romantic relationship with an unsuspecting victim. Their ultimate goal is to exploit these victims for financial gain. They use emotional connection to manipulate their victims into sending money, sharing personal information, or performing other actions that can result in financial loss or identity theft.
If you think your loved one is involved in a romance scam, learn how to spot the warning signs, approach the situation, and provide support.
The Lifecycle of a Romance Scam
Romance scammers are highly skilled professionals who use emotional manipulation to carry out their crimes. Here’s how they do it:
Creating Fake Profiles: They begin by creating attractive and convincing profiles on dating sites, social media platforms or messaging apps, often using stolen or AI-generated photos.
Identifying Potential Matches: Romance scammers focus on individuals who appear vulnerable, bored or emotionally susceptible. They typically scout dating websites and social media platforms, looking for profiles that suggest loneliness, boredom, recent trauma, or a strong desire for a relationship.
Initiating Contact: Once their profiles are set up and they’ve identified potential matches, scammers initiate contact. They may send messages expressing interest and admiration, often using charming and flattering language. The goal is to establish an instant connection and build quick trust with the victim.
Building a Relationship: Scammers invest significant time and effort into developing the relationship long before they ask for money. They exchange numerous messages, chat regularly, and may even call the victim to make the relationship feel more authentic. Artificial intelligence has also made it possible for romance scammers to video chat with their targets.
Using Love to Manipulate: They often profess love early to create emotional dependency, sharing personal details and fabricated stories to elicit sympathy and deepen the bond. Once the target falls in love, the scammer may play mind games, such as suddenly pulling away, to make the victim more eager to maintain the relationship. This manipulation leads victims to give money, believing it will keep the scammer engaged.
Creating a Sense of Urgency: After establishing trust and a romantic connection, scammers introduce fabricated crises or urgent situations to manipulate the victim into providing financial assistance. These scenarios are designed to create a sense of urgency and emotional pressure, compelling the victim to act swiftly and send money without thorough consideration. Common ploys include:
- Medical Emergencies: Claiming they or a family member need urgent medical treatment and can’t afford it.
- Travel Issues: Saying they need money to travel to visit the victim but are facing unexpected costs.
- Business Problems: Stating that they have an urgent business opportunity or problem that requires immediate funds.
- Investment Opportunities: Presenting lucrative, time-sensitive investment opportunities that require quick financial input, promising significant returns.
- Military Emergencies: Fabricating urgent military-related issues, such as needing funds for deployment or equipment.
Requesting Money: Scammers use various methods to request money, including cryptocurrencies, wire transfers, gift cards or prepaid debit cards. They often provide plausible explanations for why they cannot access their own funds or why the money needs to be sent in a specific way. The requests might start small but can escalate over time.
Repeated Requests and Escalation: If the victim complies with the initial request, scammers often return with additional, increasingly urgent demands for money. They exploit the victim’s emotions and the pre-existing bond, sometimes spinning even more elaborate stories to keep the scam going.
Avoiding Detection: Scammers are skilled at evading detection. They may use VPNs to hide their location, and they often create multiple fake profiles to continue their activities if one is shut down. They may also instruct victims to keep their relationship secret, framing it as a sign of true love or to protect the relationship from external judgment.
Ending the Scam: The scam typically ends when the victim runs out of money or becomes suspicious. Scammers may abruptly cut off contact and disappear or continue to exploit the victim by creating new crises and excuses to avoid meeting. Additionally, they may sell the personally identifiable information (PII) they’ve collected, putting the victim at risk of identity theft and other fraud.