Investment Piece – Everyday Editorial

The Ex Files: The One That HATED His Mom

Investment Piece: Ex Files

In my attempt to not only be Carrie Bradshaw, but entertain us all with the horror stories that can make up single life it’s Ex Files! Every month you get a look at some (real) bad dates that I have endured, and lived to tell the tale. Names and some facts have been changed to protect people, but I own the stories!

Need more horror in your life? Check out: The One Who Wanted His Money Back, The One Who Got Married, The One Who Wouldn’t Take No, The One Who Commented on my Weight. And if you aren’t scared stiff, the search tab has even more stories for your dating horror pleasure.

But this month I give you: The One that HATED His Mom. Also fun fact? Usually I do protect people a bit- changing of names and some details. This one? I truly don’t remember his name (literally so many other details were THAT shocking) and these details can’t be changed. Another fun fact? I truly believe how a man speaks about other women in his life may be how he eventually treats you–obviously there are exceptions. BUT. This one??? (insert the grimace emoji)

We’ll just call him Bob. Sorry to all the great Bobs out there.

Bob and I met at a party my ex-roommate and his new girlfriend were throwing (side note: friend break-ups can be worse than romantic breakups and my ex roomie and I were proof positive of that!). I will admit I was a bit hesitant at this party (see friend break up) but was originally charmed by Bob– he was friendly and polite and willing to talk to me when I was clearly the odd (wo)man out. He then extended an invitation to dinner. I happily accepted- little did I know that it was going to be one of those dates that made me shudder at the memory.

Bob and I met at a nice restaurant. He was again polite, holding doors, ordering drinks, all the things we are taught to look for. Conversation was easy- until we came to family background and schools. Like me, his parents had divorced when he was young. And yes- I know we can all have BIG feelings about that. However, what I was not prepared for was Bob going off for over 45 mins about how awful his mom was. Did she treat him badly? No. Awful in the divorce? No. Bob just thought that his mom was dumb, below his station in life, an embarrassment for not being what he wanted- and the kicker- he explained to me for a good 15 mins that the only reason Bob’s dad even talked to his mom was that his mom was hot. Bob really said aloud more than once that the only redeeming quality (truly to this day remembering how he called her dumb with no concrete examples and how his base belief was that women are worthless till proven other wise) was that Bob’s mom was hot when she was young. to be fair, he also said horrific things about his sister not being on his level and being embarrassing for “not being as smart as he was”.

It was very clear that Bob, on a base level, just didn’t like women. Even those he “loved”. Unsurprisingly, I tried to make the most graceful, earliest exit I could. A man who hates his mom for no reason I believe will never really love you. When Bob asked me when he could see me again I was very vague- again, he told me how smart he was, and oh so much smarter than women, so I assumed he would get it. To my surprise he called me the next day- letting me know he bought a stick shift car and wanted me to teach him how to drive it (yes, my driving stick shift came up in our date. He didn’t know how to drive it. Yet, he also mentioned he could never learn anything from a woman). I said no as quickly as I could. That was the last I heard from Bob.

Occasionally, I still think about how much he HATED his mom- in words I can’t say here the venom- for a woman who from all accounts just simply was pretty and kind and married a man with more money than she- was such a turn off. And I was so proud of me to recognize the red flags right away.

I know, I know each situation is different- but what do you think of a man who HATES his mom? Do you think it’s a red flag? I would love to hear your thoughts!

XO RA

Fashion Stories: TV Fashion: The Americans

Most of this is a repost. When I first started this blog, I knew that I wanted to talk (and show!) stunning fashion, outfits- and tell stories. As we know, for me stories and fashion are a part of the same thing. It’s taken me a while to really refine my vision and how I talk about our fashion stories, but the ideas have always been there. At first, I wanted to talk about fashion on TV and Movies (because, as an actress it made sense to me). This was one of my first attempts. Lately, I’ve been thinking a lot (again) about costumes and costume designers. I talk a lot about how what we wear tells our stories, and one of the most visible ways (and ironically, one place where we learn how to dress for what we’re trying to express) of fashion story telling are costumes. They let us know so much about a character- who they are, what they like, what they’re dealing with, who they want to be. Costumes are such an important part of any show or movie you’re watching. I promise. So, I’m looking again at what I was thinking about the Americans- and how the story of being a spy is one I’m drawn to. I’ve added a link to an interview with the Costume Design Team from this show- and I’m also currently shopping items like these!
Xo RA

In case you haven’t been watching, “The Americans” is simply one of the best shows on TV right now (seriously, go binge). It follows two Russian spies, living in the US in the early 80s–and I love everything about it. So much goes into making a great, timeless, compelling show–the story, the actors, the production–but also, the fashion. When I completely fall for a show, like I have with “The Americans”, I find myself wanting to live in their world, and while that isn’t always possible, dressing like them can be.

THE AMERICANS -- (Premieres Early 2013) Pictured: Keri Russell as Elizabeth Jennings -- Photo CR: Jeff Neira/FX — THE AMERICANS — (Premieres Early 2013) Pictured: Keri Russell as Elizabeth Jennings — Photo CR: Jeff Neira/FX

Let’s be clear, I’m not calling for a return to all 80s fashion (let’s just say no to big shoulder pads), but when fashion is great, done well, and timeless, elements of any period can be added to your wardrobe. It’s a case of “classic fashion never goes out of style”. The fashion on “The Americans” is not only great and classic–a lot of it would look modern today!

A Great Coat and Boots

It’s on every “must have” or “invest” list–a great coat and a great trench. When it’s paired with boots it’s a classic outfit–and all over Instagram as we speak. Spring is a great time to buy a coat on sale, and trenches are always a good investment. I’m a fan of high boots, they never go out of style.
Some of my picks:
Trenches: Ralph Lauren, Burberry, and Zara
Boots: Stuart Weitzman, Frye, and Steve Madden

Wrap Dresses

Subject: The Americans On 2013-04-08, at 3:50 PM, Yeo, Debra wrote: Kerri Russell as Elizabeth Jennings and Matthew Rhys as Philip Jennings in The Americans on FX. CRAIG BLANKENHORN/FX The Americans.jpg

DVF made it ionic, the shape makes it completely flattering. A wrap dress is great in every decade and in every way–short, long, dress up, casual, there’s just something about this silhouette that looks great on everyone. It’s a classic you need and here are some of my picks:
Wrap Dresses: DVF (on sale!), DVF, and Ann Klein

Great Jeans and a Top

Ironically enough, high waisted jeans and tie blouses are back in style–but I think any jean rise that looks great on you and any simple blouse is a classic hit. There’s something both effortless and pulled together about the combo. Some of my faves:
Jeans:JCrew, , and MOTHER
Tops: Equipment, Anna Quan, and Zara

Read about the costume process here.

Would you wear any of these costumes? Be a spy?

I’m game!
Xo RA

Summer Beauty Routine

I am the first to admit that makeup is not my forte- really mascara and red lips are my go to’s. There are so so many FANTASTIC beauty “influencers” and tutorials avail all over social media, and I know that I am not one of them. However, I do love certain beauty products. And have refined my day-to-day summer routine in a way that makes me feel pulled together. It’s also 4 products (linked below), takes really less than 5 mins, and is completely adaptable (add what you need for any event or through the day).

I love how easy this routine is and how on days when my life is gym and errands it’s perfect. When my life is a bit more it’s so easy to adapt- add anything from mascara to full eyes and blush. I am linking my products below. What is your go to summer beauty routine? I would love to know! Also if you can get a great eyeshadow crease please teach me!

XO RA

Notes: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

It’s Berries for Me..

a woman in strawberry print top and skirt holding a straw and leather tote with gold mule

a woman in a strawberry print top and skirt with a straw and leather tote with gold mules

Strawberries? Have never been able to resist them. In fact, one of my very first words was “fresas” (strawberries in Spanish- another fun fact we lived in Spain from when I was 1mth-18mth and not only did I say strawberries in Spanish, I would steal them off my parent’s plates). My favorite desert? Strawberry shortcake or berries with whipped cream. It’s always and forever the berries for me.

So. Wearing berries on my outfit? Also can’t resist. This strawberry set is so so me, and so summer. It’s sweet and chic– but lends itself to so many combos. I have already paired the skirt with a sweater vest and a tee. The top? White pants, white skirt, jean shorts. (My mantra is that sets are the best as you can wear them together and oh-so-many-ways separately!) These berries are also so on trend (besides being up my alley) -aka grocery store core-aka wearing food on your clothes. Of course for me- if it’s food- it’s berries for me…

a woman in a strawberry topi and skirt set with a straw and leather tote and gold mules in a grocery store

The thing about loving something deeply and then wearing that something? It makes the entire outfit a bit more fun! No matter how I style this set- alone or together- wearing it is a symbol of what I love. And fun. Perhaps sometimes we (me!) can overthink the stories we are telling with our fashions (and as we know I am big believer that our fashion tells our stories) – but what if the prints we chose were a bit of whimsy? A bit of the season (or when I style these pieces for cooler temps the season we wish it were!)? What about dressing for fun? And berries?

a woman in a strawberry topi and skirt set with a straw and leather tote and gold mules

It’s high summer- heat and malaise and amazing food. I hope you’re wearing things that bring you joy. That make you smile and hopefully make others smile too. I also hope that you’re eating all the bounty of summer that makes you smile. For me? It’s the berries…

What foods are bringing you joy? And what foods are you loving to wear?

I believe this set from JCrew is sold out- but there are other options (and I am linking it JIC!)
Hope the berries you have are incredibly ripe and juicy this week! XO RA

Note: this post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

Other options:

Sunday Chronicles: Letting Go

a close up selfie of a woman in red lipstick and the head of a giant nutcracker

Perhaps it’s just me, but we’re at the time in the holiday season where I’m simply letting things go. That doesn’t mean that I’m not celebrating, not in the spirit, not crossing things off my to-do list. I am doing all of that, and am excited about being with my friends and family in the coming weeks and doing all of the holiday things! What it does mean is that I’m taking all of those big expectations and “shoulds” and all the stress that comes from wanting to make this “the best holiday ever” and I’m just letting go.

Historically, letting go isn’t something that comes easily to me. I care a lot- especially at this time of year. And when I care I tend to worry and over think and fixate (all things I’m working on!). I realize that this is a time of year when we often take on more than we can chew- over commit, over expect, and over do; and it’s not that I have answers for how to stop any of these behaviors.And I too have all these things I want to do and make and have perfect.

But. We’re less than 10 days away from Christmas. It’s not that you can’t get more things done in this time-it’s just that we’re getting to a time when we are going to have to let things be how they are. The decorations look how they look. Our plans are what they are. The gifts will be what they are (and if nothing else gift cards will be given). My letting go is more accepting this and being happy with what we have, rather than fighting and over stressing to do the things that just won’t be done.

I feel like this is a yearly battle. At least for me. This time of year brings out so many wants and it’s so easy to get swept into how “we should do it” and how “it could be perfect”. Every year I claim I won’t let things overwhelm and stress me- and yet, about this time every year I’m having to face that things won’t go according to the biggest plans. The thing is- maybe they’ll go better?

Movies, songs, all the things will tell us that simple is better (and I will say we simplified our decorations this year and they are still stunning!) and the important thing is being with who you love (it is!) but it can be hard to accept that. So how do we?

I’m still figuring it out. Like letting go, it’s a process for me. My steps?
-I’m doing what I can. Sometimes that’s a lot, sometimes it’s not. And when I can’t meet my own high standards, I remind myself that they people who love me will love what I’m doing.
-Done is better than perfect. Hard to swallow, but often I keep trying to make things perfect when they could just be done. I also take this moment to remind myself that I am the only one who will notice the “imperfections” I see.
-I’m making plans for the new year- from dinners with friends to shopping to notes, instead of trying to cram everything in now and giving people the stressed version of me I’m moving what I can to the new year and am getting excited about those things.

Being happy with how things are and letting the holiday be what it will be- not easy at all. Yet, I think it’s a part of having a happy holiday season. So, how do you let go? How do you make this season happy and stress free?

Wishing us all a week of happy and stress free celebrations and amazing shoes! XO RA

Fashion in the Wild : Sheer

A woman in a black sheer dress and heels

Every season there is a “sheer trend”. We chat about how to wear sheer, how to make sheer work appropriate, how to layer sheer tops and dresses and more. I am a big fan of sheer, see:
here,
here,
here,
here,
here and so on, trust me: search “sheer” in our search tab!). There are so many ways to make sheer work appropriate (slips, tanks, etc) and I’ve tried them all. This past week I went back through some of my favorite outfits (some sheer) in a way to look for inspiration and also clean out some of my closet. Sheer can be so versatile, so many things.

But loves, what if we let sheer clothing be sheer?

I give you: Fashion in the Wild! It’s me- in all my fashion out and about, no planned shoots, no controlling it. Of all things sheer can be, it’s also fun!

What do you think? Any trend you’d like to see in the wild?

Shop my current sheer picks below and keep it wild out there!
XO RA

Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

You can also search Revolve here as they currently have the most on trend sheer dresses and more!

I also love this edit from Anthropologie:

a woman in a black sweater and a sheer skirt with heels

Seasonal Sales: Prime Day and Anniversary Sales

Investment Piece: An Ode to Window Shopping

Does it feel as if everything is on sale right now? It feels as if everything is on sale right now.
So, so many seasonal sales (and I do my best to keep up- shop along with me on LTK, Collective Voice and ShopMy as RachelAdelicia!), but the biggest 2 currently are Amazon Prime Day(s) and Nordstrom Anniversary Sale. Both can be a bit overwhelming, both can have gems and both can have duds. As usual, when shopping, the odds are in your favor if you’re looking for something specific or are willing to look at endless items. Lucky you! I am willing to do both- and will continue to do both for the next few days (weeks?). Below are my initial wants and needs, things that are in my cart- or maybe should be.

Notes: My go-tos for both the Anniversary Sale and Prime Days are beauty items and big ticket items (bang for you your buck!). However, in the next few days I will absolutely be looking at denim, jackets, designer items, and more!

What are you shopping for in these seasonal sales? Have you found what you are looking for yet?

Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

Nordstrom Anniversary Sale

First and foremost, while still a bit pricy, this LED face mask and skin care set is one of the best deals to be had. It can replace all professional services, set you up for a year, and change the way you look. In that way it’s a bargain!

There are so many shoes I am interested in, but I am particularly considering the Hoka Running Shoes (a cult fave!). They are supposed to be amazing and these are about 50% off- a rarity!

Other shoes I love:

And these Dolce Vita shoes on sale.

Some Nordstrom Beauty Exclusives I’m interested in:

Amazon
I promise on all the apps I will have more Amazon picks from home to designer sales up tomorrow. Today? I have been laser focused on 2 categories: beauty tools (from red light therapy to hair tools) and sets (particularly knit set that are great from airport to errands!)

Even with these few perimeters there is so much to buy! My best advice is to have a list and then let yourself be surprised by anything AMAZING that you find. I can’t wait to share more picks with you, and then share what I got!

Happy Shopping! XO RA

Brighter Days Ahead

a woman in yellow and grey dress with grey platforms

Beloveds, I know I have been both honest (and perhaps a bit vague as this is a fashion blog) that I have been going through things recently. And all of a sudden it hit me- what helps me is fashion. Getting dressed. Yes, there is implementing change and getting a routine of healthy habits. But, for me, part of that is getting dressed. For some, I know that means just putting on clothes- and I know there are days that I will do that- but for me that means coming up with and wearing clothes and outfits that excite me and are perhaps a bit editorial.

I am aware that my schedule is a bit all over (something I am dealing with) and sometimes my outfits may come later in the day. Or days when getting dressed may be fun earrings and a fantastic red lip. But my goal this week (and the coming weeks) is to brighten my days with fashion.

If that fashion that brightens my day happens to be bright? Even more fun. Yellow, especially the neon kind, isn’t usually my go-to. However, this yellow and grey bring me joy (and it’s not the first time see here). So maybe it’s this combo of yellow and grey (though to be honest grey is one of my favorite colors) is my go -to. And on a dreary day (or in a dreary time?)? This combo does brighten my day .

What do you do when you try to brighten your day? What do you wear?

This dress is Loewe that I bought resale and I found a lucky someone the exact same dress. I also found very similar pieces! I hope that your Monday is bright and you’re wearing something that brings you joy!

XO RA

Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

Sunday Chronicles: When It Takes Time to Stick

a red cone key lock jewelry box with a rhinestone t-rex and a mirro

I have written so often about routines, and being behind and burnout as these are truly things that I struggle with. This week I went to write AGAIN about how I am struggling with some burnout, some issues making and sticking to a routine, and all the things associated with all of that. Then, I worried that I was a broken record. And then I wondered- I am a self aware person. I know what I am struggling with, often why, and changes that could help. So, why hasn’t anything I know or tried to change stuck?

What happens when the things you want to change take time to stick?

Another super fun thing about me? I am not always patient. In times like these when I am aware of a need to change : my schedule, stop procrastinating, a need for rest, etc; I somehow think that change will be quick (and easy). When, in reality, I know sometimes changes take time, you have to make them over and over, and that sticking to anything takes time. Change is hard. Getting over burnout is hard. To any friend (including you!) I would tell you (and truly believe) that sometimes we get in slumps, ruts, overtired, patterns we don’t like and knowing that change is a process to have grace with yourself and as long you’re trying you’ll get there. That grace with sticking it and time? For some reason I don’t always have it for myself.

It’s one of those times when what’s known and what you expect are disconnected from each other. And as self aware and knowing as I am? I don’t have answers. There are changes and patterns I would like to change, and routines I would like to stick to- all while being my best and most fashionable self. Recently, a dear one reminded me that we all have times in life that dip, slump, shake things up and it’s more about being patient and graceful while you get out of it. This season for me hasn’t been my favorite, but on the other hand, I am more sure of the things I want, and how I want my days to look.

Knowing all of that, is it possible to take time to make it stick? To give myself the leeway and grace, patience and support that sticking to changes needs? Maybe the only way to find out is to stick to things- even when sticking to things takes time.

What things do you feel as if you have to do over and over again to make them stick? What is your advice to making changes that stick (quickly!)? I would love to hear all about it!

Wishing us all a week of sticking to it and amazing shoes! XO RA

Business Casual

a woman in a combo pinstripes pant and denim waist with a white tank and green mules

There was an interview I read an interview with Nigella Lawson where in she mentions that she LOVES a great suit– but never wears one. And. Same. Just same. I love suits. I love dressing up. Yet. I realize that my life could be lived in lounge. I could work in bed-for the most part, other than my pics! And let’s be honest- this is reducing my life to pics and writing (and my day job which could absolutely be done in pjs and in bed!).

However. I do have a thing for suits. Not only do I think that they are sexy on a woman, I just love wearing them. Again, in my life, I have never HAD to wear them (yet I recognize that what we wear day to day from lounge to work is our suits and that is a completely different suit). SO. As someone who LOVES a great suit (even if it’s just a pinstripe pant) LOVES this mix of denim and suit.
Could it work if you needed a suit pant in the summer? Yep
For casual Friday? yep
For those of us who love a suit but also live a non suit lifestyle? yep!

And there are so many ways to style these perfect combo business casual pants? This tank(a cheap one!) A button down ( a go to!) A sweater. Or sweatshirt. A vest. Or Blazer. Heels. And more.
So-

When you love one style that doesn’t fit your day to day how do you incorporate it into your life?
My answer? You do. Like this combo. Perhaps it’s a blazer and shorts or a button down with everything. Pinstripes or suite pants.Denim with the pinstripes (how is up to you!) Or perhaps it’s just A balance of it all. I would love to see and read (leave me not only a comment but email me if needed!)

Linked are are these exact part denim part suit (and pinstripes) pants! How would you balance this perfect blend of suit and casual?!? RA

Note: This post does contain affiliate links. While that does not affect the price for you, I may earn commission from them. Thank you for your support!

a woman in a white tank ND WHTNE A COMB deimon andnpintstripe panta